Monday, June 22, 2009

Missing M

I'm losing track of the days, but I am pretty sure my 3 year wedding anniversary is next week. Anyways it's on July 1st and sometimes it's still hard to believe all that has happened since. Gram's passing and countless surgeries, well actually just 5 including this latest. When we said in sickness and in health neither of us knew what was coming.

Each surgery has been a learning experience but this one will keep me down longer than the others. I hate being a burden on M. While work is not what it once for him there are still those occasions where it sucks him dry. I haven't seen him since yesterday and it just killed me that I couldn't hop in the car and bring him a bag with fresh clothes and towel late last night. And now knowing that he'll need to come home and cook if he wants something low sodium for dinner-- I feel like crying because I can't help. I never thought I'd be that girl but I like taking care of my man.

He's been taking good care of me given his limited resource of time. It's weird being totally dependent on someone else but we're both adjusting to this new dynamic I think. It won't last forever and now more than ever I know how much he loves me. I'd do the same for him in a heart beat.

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