Thursday, May 21, 2009

I know I bitch a lot...

But really, M isn't a bad guy. Cookies, brownies, whatever, he's clueless not purposeful. There are some out there who do sabotage, thankfully he is not one of them.

I am amazed at how supportive he is about this surgery. It's been along road for him and I when it comes to operations. Every single time I have been cut open in the past few years has been the direct result of a complication. My current 11:11 wish is that this go as smoothly as possible without any issues. If that means I need to lie flat on my back for a month, getting up only to walk for a bit every few hours than so freaking be it. I just want this to go flawlessly. I deserve it after what I've been through with my knee. I'm thinking happy positive thoughts, in between freaking out of course.

I'm trying to keep the nervousness under wraps around him-- it's not his burden, I did this to myself and therefore I am the one to deal with it. And yes, I do believe that I did this to myself. My PCP had questioned me when I said that in her office. My response to her was, well, don't you do skinny to yourself? I don't buy it when people say being fat isn't their fault. Maybe that will make me a bad dietician, but I do believe that we are all capable of change. Understanding how the system works and your part in it is key. We are all ultimately responsible to ourselves.

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