Monday, September 20, 2010

New pain in my repertoire

One thing I can't change is my osteoarthritis.  I can change how I deal with world when I hurt though... And I do hurt currently.  On a scale of one to ten I'd say it's a seven with no pills.  A manageable five with ibuprofen and blissfully calm three right after I ice.

This time when the Synvisc wore off it came with a bunch of fluid that is sitting around my knee cap.  As the fluid built up my knee cap started hurting more and more.  I've never had any OA pain behind the patella before but I suspect that's what this horrible achy burny grinding is.  It's not like the OA pain in other compartments probably because it's a non weight bearing part of the joint.   Regardless it's new and different and I need to add it to the list of all the other places and ways in which my knee pains me.  What's one more right?

Except...  I'm not sure I can take much more.  I'm a bit of a grumpy gus right now.  Blog is place to vent as I don't self medicate with food or drugs.  If only I could talk about it and somehow that would lesson the ouch.

Interesting to compare and contrast this OA pain in the patellofemoral compartment as opposed to the medial and lateral compartments.  I wonder if this cartilage is degrading in the same way as the rest of it. Interesting to me how it just hurts differently.

I think about pain too much. 


Rita said...

Ok, wow. So you manage to maintain with that as an enormous life stress. You, we need to hear from for sure. So many people get derailed after a bad fight with their mom, you know adversity, wow.

Vickie said...

the amount of respect I have for you is immense. I had 4 little stitches (mole removed) which I ripped back open (accidentally) and was nearly hysterical. I said to my husband - I don't think I am a good candidate for any major plastic surgery. I know you have had to have major work done and have all your knee problems to boot. So sorry your arthritis is giving you such fits too.

♥ Shrinking Kenz ♥ said...

I know you're thinking about pain because you're in pain. I wish I could make it feel better, but I'll keep wishing it happens soon anyway.

Anonymous said...

The OA with which I live is in the base of both thumbs so grasping or pinching (opening a door, taking a patient's BP, even turning the page in a book) can result in a weeks-long flare up. The condition, even the suffering, is becoming a teacher to me. It is not one I would have chosen, of course, but I can learn many things when I accept it. (Acceptance doesn't mean I don't continue to do research about potential treatment and healing modalities!)

Ironically, the primary thing that woke me up to the need to lose weight, for instance, was not negative social pressures, in truth, but my feet going numb, etc., and the horrifying accompanying visions of diabetes, future amputations, circulatory problems, early death, and so forth.

Now, this OA with my hands provides different lessons in living. When people say, "Oh, OA is caused by or worsened by obesity," I kind of giggle inside myself because I do not walk on my hands. And some people REALLY want to blame everything on obesity, without truly understanding the complexities of obesity. There may be strong correlations, naturally, but I am starting to understand much deeper the ways in which such social preconceptions (and the ways in research is directed at medical treatments, to make profits also) distorts our knowledge about the human body. I have also learned so much from trying to live my fullest life in the presence of this pain. (Somewhat in spite of it and somewhat because of it, if that makes sense.) The pain undoubtedly shapes my career path and impacts my ability to earn a living. It limits my ability to do many activities, such as strength training. And yet...I cannot help but feel that it provides me with something I need now in my life, and something that will prove to be helpful (if not to me then to others) at some future point.