Sunday, September 19, 2010

Capable to Cripple

I think all this feeling of inadequacy is simply because I hurt again.  Pain manifests itself in so many ways in my head.

It's hard to feel positive about life, yourself and interactions with others when all you want to do is cry.  Or cut your own leg off at the knee with a butter knife.  That might actually hurt less.

My cane is back in the car.


Anonymous said...


I'm sorry your leg hurts. The pain is not part of your everyday identity anymore. Yet the pain can reawaken emotional responses from long ago.

Pain is one of the most challenging experiences to transcend. It is also a constant reminder of one's mortality. It is difficult on many levels! I am old, so it doesn't feel like such an ambush to me. But you're a youngster. That does makes it harder.

I hope a healing modality will emerge for you, very soon, so you can feel some relief.


anne said...

you live with pain without addiction. i am so proud of you.
and someday, if i have to carry you, i will. <3

Vickie said...

so sorry!
pamper yourself
in non-food ways

Sarah said...

There is no self medicating with food in my world. This has been an on going issue and been a lot worse in the past couple of years. I think one of the keys to my maintenance success is that I don't pamper with food. I can't. More weight = worse knee. That's kind of motivating.