Saturday, September 11, 2010

Naked Expectations

What do you see when you look at this picture?
My tan, my belly button, my curve?  Or do you see my scar?  Or maybe the spot where I did not hold together last summer, the unsettled knot underneath the end of one of this summer's incisions, stretch marks, veins, dog ears, & leftover lumps?

Do you see what I had to go through to get here?


Do you think, "Good for her!"  Or maybe, "Oh that vain bitch..." Or possibly,  "Who is she kidding?"  

I've had some jealousy and dishonesty come into my life recently.  I don't like it and am embarrassed to say at first I took it for respect.   I expect people to be who they say they are.  I don't show the world much but when I do it's all me.  


Lori said...

I see an incredibly strong woman whose body does not show very many outward signs of the long, difficult journey it went through.

Anonymous said...

What I see is a beautiful figure. You're very brave and honest to post that pic. I'd kill for a torso like that battle scars and all...and I don't mean that in an ugly, green w/envy way. lol You've come so far and there's NOTHING vain about the years of hard work you put into that body. Be proud of yourself and spend more time naked (at home) I'm certain your hubby won't mind ;) - Patrice

Anonymous said...

OMG it looks GREAT! wishing I had such a great outcome! of course, it's hard to tell just yet for me, but YOUR shape is FANTASTIC!

You know, the scars don't get to me too much. I expect it to take years for them to fade, and I expect some puckering, gaps and irregularities. It's a small price for getting rid of all that flap.

Sarah said...

I just want people to understand that this doesn't happen over night and that there is a LOT that goes with it. I've been struck by how much negativity follows you sometimes when you pursue your goals. People get petty when they want what you have, but they fail to recognize everything that goes into it. This wasn't just handed to me.

Be yourself and people want you to be more. I don't need to be more, I'm quite happy with what I've got.

And I think... that in a nutshell is why I don't blog more often. :)

Anonymous said...

Your stomach looks incredible, it's shapely and beautiful and I can tell that beyond that scar you have worked really hard for what you have. To be honest what first came to mind is "wow she looks so amazing for someone who had a baby!"...I have a similar scar from my c-section : )

Anonymous said...

I honestly think "good for her!". I have thought that many times while reading your blog.

I keep going back to the May 31 entry you wrote titled "Oh Internets". Those words really help me.

Sometimes we think it is so easy for everyone else, and why can't I do it?? Its nice to see the real part of all this weight loss, along with the sucess.

Thanks for being so honest!

Cupboard Love said...

I think wow, and admire your hard won figure. And then I wonder and hope that maybe, that will be me someday.

Anonymous said...

YOU LOOK GREAT...thats what i think

Anonymous said...

Sarah, I know what you mean about the negativity.

I also wanted to get in touch with you again today (after getting my drains out yesterday) to tell you again what an inspiration you are to me. Reading your blog and hearing about your journey has really helped me in mine. I don't know how to say how grateful I am that you DO blog... and how lucky I feel to have come across your blog.

You've become a bit of a personal hero to me.

Just wanted you to know.

bbubblyb said...

I'm thankful for your blog also as I head in the direction of plastic surgery. It has given me stuff to think about. It was nice getting to meet you too. You look wonderful and I would be over joyed with how you look. I don't think I can dream of things turning out that well but even half that well will be great. Sorry you've had negativity for me I find myself justifying wanting the plastic surgery.

Sarah said...

Kate I need to catch up but glad to head drains are put. Totally different healing happens now. B:). Hope it wasn't too painful.
And Bubb-- no worries there is something specific that I needed to adress they know who they are. I understand justifying but I don't think that's necessary. There is nothing wrong w/ wanting this- it's functional! I posted the picture bc that'd what ppl are interested in... The look but not the work physical or mental that goes into it. You can make this happen for yourself (Kate is great example of perseverance) bug need to focus on positive... Is hard when this process is so complicated and admittedly a bit easier if you are a bariatric.

Thanks for all the kind responses folks!

Sarah said...

And last comment was made from phone pardon the typos. :) I'm at the gym on the bike.

Anonymous said...

Interestingly enough, being a bariatric patient is NOT an advantage with my insurance. There is no difference in the criteria for bariatric patients and anyone else who has lost weight.

I know that in some cases bariatric surgeons come to bat for their patients when it comes to skin removal... some even make referrals. Mine don't, and in this state, apparently they can't. (which stinks)

Sarah said...

Kate that's interesting to hear. I was thinking in more general terms tho.... Out here often bariatric surgeons ALSO do plastic surgery, well panniculectomy's only bc they can coverage for that. Also many if the hospital programs feature lectures by plastic surgeons early in the process. Maybe a but of a different culture. I've talked to many who have felt that being in the pipelines helps. As someone who didn't go through that process I felt like I had to do way mire research and work. Maybe I'm wrong on that... But how it seems in Boston.
Like I said you are a credit to your perseverance. And that's what this is about.

Hope you healing well. I found days 2 & 10 to be the most trying.

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Illz said...

I see you.