I was in a bit of a bad spot so last night I set myself up for some good rest. Husband was away so it was just me and the kitty cat. I had a pain pill, a swig of Nyquil (I know not it's intended purpose, but works as insurance), an ibuprofen, took a shower, changed my compression garment, turned the AC on high and the cell phone ringer off. It had been 5 days since I had gotten sleep that was more than 2.5 hours at a time. Worry was starting to consume me. Saturday was day 10.
Last summer day 10 is when it all fell apart. If you have never had surgery I can best explain it this way, dancing and worrying at the same time. Ala Marge Simpson. You go into it hoping to be fixed, hoping to dance on the other end... less pain, new ligament, less skin and fat in the most recent case. However when you come out the other side still breathing anesthesia and all stitched up, well that's where the worry comes in. And I worry about healing. I can't help it. This most recent plastic surgery was my 13th surgery over all and I like to think that's lucky. When I had my ACL replaced the 3rd time, I thought, "That's the Charm!" Turns out I struck out.
I've experienced lots of surgical complications. Last summer after my adominplasty and panniculectomy were eight of the longest weeks of my life. All of this weighs heavily on me right now and was getting in the way of sleep. I just want to heal and that doesn't happen well if you aren't getting rest. I see the doc tomorrow and I think he'll have pretty good news for me.
I can't wait to dance.
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3 comments:
I hope your recovery is easier this time than it's been in the past.
I have enough loose skin in my stomach area (because of losing so much weight) and in my upper arms that I have been considering plastic surgery just to get back to feeling more like myself again. But having had my gall bladder removed almost 20 years ago (the hard way - not laparoscopically), I remember the AWFUL recovery!
Hang in there. You are almost over the hump. Try thinking of all the things that will be different when you are healed, how things will feel and clothes will fit. In a few years, this will just seem like a little blip of time :D
You'll dance...you got through those even though it was tough, and you will again. It's who you are..
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