Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I've fallen and I can't get up.

I'm afraid that is going to be me someday. It's been almost two weeks since I fell and I am still hurting. I was carrying a plant and stepped into a pothole. My right ankle rolled, my core couldn't compensate and then my left knee gave out and down I went. This is always the way it happens, even when I have core strength, and I land directly on my already injured knee. The picture above is from the next day and I am leaning against the window sill. I'm noticing my left leg is darker. From that angle you can't see the fluid retention in my calve but the left leg is larger than the right. Especially after a fall. I often notice people looking at my leg, I got the saddest look ever from a little old lady sitting on a bench earlier this week. These looks are almost harder on me than the fat stares. Why is revulsion easier to cope with when it's not accompanied by pity and/or confusion?

I'm still putting one foot in front of the other though and will continue to do so. I did see my orthopedic doc before I left. He stared at the wall and offered me a cortisone shot. wtf. What I really wanted were some x-rays. It's hard for me to take him at his word based on his (and mine) track record with these bone grafts. I'll be in touch with my PCP when I get back, she said if he didn't order them to come back to her and she would. I hope she meant it. I need the peace of mind.

We are headed back into the park tomorrow. I'll strap on my hiking boots and off we'll go. I need to keep moving.

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