Friday, December 2, 2011

Mr. Cow

It's what? only 5:20pm?  Already been a food fail... Day started with 2 month appt. and then a mommy and me class.  The shots were fine... delayed reaction until 4 hours later at the tail end of class.  Screams like I personally have never heard.  I imagine the heel stick was similar. Poor thing- I know how I feel about shots.  Some baby tylenol, nursing session (probably one of, if not, the last one). and a conversation with Mr. Cow and all is right with the world again. She really is a good baby- cuddly and cute thankfully.  Some are notso cuddly.  My heart breaks for those moms.  There is one in my class and you can tell it is wearing on her.

So back to me. I ate because she was hurting and unhappy when we got home. Seemingly the only way to calm myself down after that was to eat?  wtf Sarah? I feel like I have been making excuses for days... weeks even.  She is only two months old, but I need to be way nicer to myself if I am going to last for her.  I guess it's a good thing I couldn't do much damage.  Husband has been working late all week so there are precious few snacks in the house and not much in the freezer.  Still 2 pop tart type things, 3 rolls with butter and handful of mini summer sausages later I was totally regretting my choices.  Regretting food choices is not my style, feeling out of control re:food is not a comfortable place for me.  I need to work on my coping mechanisms if I am going to be a good Mom.  Also need to work on not beating myself up when I do cope with food.  This is all new and as I know lifestyle change is slow and gradual.  Nothing slow and gradual about bringing home a baby!

Once again tomorrow I will try and eat with purpose.  Which could be hard given we are road tripping to Northern VT for a Christmas tree.  I'll give it my best shot as always.

1 comment:

PrettyWoman said...

I am so glad to see you are back!!! And congratulations on your daughter!