Living with Food

I talk a lot about living with food.  As you can see in the previous post my husband in naturally thin.  His weight has not fluctuated much from that picture taken almost seven years ago.   He eats what he wants and while occasionally I get frustrated with the stuff he brings into the house, I've pretty much figured out that just because it's there doesn't mean I have to eat it.  This has not been an easy thing to learn or keep in check especially since that last 100 pounds of my weight gain was basically all emotional eating.  While I had always been heavy when life started falling apart in 1997 I self medicated with food.  A lot of calorically dense food eaten in mass quantities.  Most sweet or salty snacks were gone in a day, two at the most.

This week has been emotional, it has been stressful and I am proud of all the food you can still find in cabinet and on the counter.  I've read a lot of posts by emotional eaters, bingers and snackers lately.  I have been all of those in my past.  I've been maintaining for years and while it is easier, some weeks are harder than others.  There are few things I can not have in my house.  Oreos and Doritoes.  I've been thinking about this since Tony posted about his trigger foods on his Facebook page. While they don't trigger me to eat other things, I really can't have them around because I will find myself eating the whole package.  Often I resort to pitching them and that behavior is not something I am totally comfortable with.

So what's still in my closet that has me feeling pretty proud of myself today?

1.  Ritz Pretzel Crackers - These have a very interesting taste.  Mom was not a fan so I brought them home.  They have been in my apartment for a week and half.  Half a box left.

2.  Chocolate Brownie Cliff Bars - Three still in the box.  Purchased by me before surgery.

3.  Hershey's Kisses - I asked for chocolate after surgery and Mom and twin sis came home with those, #5 and a Toblerone that is long gone.  It's a risk asking for others for chocolate and for some reason I always think people will come home with just a candy bar or a single cupcake, but that's never the case.  It's okay though, because once again, just because it is in my closet doesn't mean I have to eat it. There is about half a bag left and M and has eaten most of them.

4.  Pistachios - I *heart* pistachios.  My Dad ate a ton of these nuts when I was a kid.  You would ask for a couple and that's what you would get.  A few meant three, several meant four.  Sigh.  M bought these last week sometime.  About 1/3 of a bag left and both he and I have been enjoying them.

5. Peanut M&Ms - Again purchased for me after surgery and about 1/3 of a bag left.  I've eaten most of them.  Mostly by the handful late in the evening.

6. Kettle Chips - Unopened.  These are something my husband bought apparently forgetting that he still has 8 snack sized bags of Cape Cod Chips sitting on the counter just out of view. 

7. Brownies - This is the second pan. The first he made last week when he was having a tummy whim, I had two of those. When I started my period I asked for chocolate again.  I should have finished what we already had!  I had three out of this pan (crusts only) in the past few days.

8. Granola - You can't see it because the door is closed, purchased by me for mixing in with my yogurt before surgery.  Over 3/4 of a bag left and it's the good kind! I had actually forgotten that it was there as it was hidden behind some taco shells.  Out of sight out of mind?

I know for some, and for me for a good long while, it is simply easier not to have these kinds of foods in the house.  However it is not just me living here.  My issues are not my husband's issues. This is what I mean by living with food.  It's not denying myself treats, it's not eating everything I have all at once because it's there.  It's enjoying in moderation because I can make a choice.