That's a loaded word. But when it comes to my knee it's how I feel. I'm uncomfortable saying it however because I still struggle with my own culpability with regards to how I got to this point. I know what happened to me is NOT my fault. No teenager really understands the implications of surgery and the long term consequences. I came across this article last week and sobbed for an hour after reading it. It's about the adolescent knee and the risk for osteoarthritis. I've said it before but just so I am clear. I don't think that docs should be operating on 240 pound teenagers who have no hope of rehabbing properly. Just because you can doesn't meant that you should. I truly believe that I would be better off today without any of those ACL surgeries.
But I did do them. And the doctors did too. I often wonder if the last doc who told me I would lose my mobility by 40 considered any of my past history. What was his motivation for recommending surgery & using scare tactics? I think he was more interested in my cartilage than repairing my ACL. I wonder what it was that he saw in there that made him do a 180 after the procedure about the state of my cartilage. Clearly it had been roughed up, but having done all sorts of reading now... I don't think my problems were good for the technique he was working on at the time. I wasn't a patient needing help in his eyes I was a potential research subject. And when I wasn't useful... well, it took more time than it probably should have to catch that Staph infection imho. Talk about being a pain in the ass patient.
Which brings me to what is still aggravating me. Really, I feel I've suffered enough because of that one arrogant doc. I'm not keen on suffering because of inconsiderate office staff. I have no use for rudeness, for having to do everything twice and least of all I can't stand being second guessed and scolded. I'm the consumer here but as a patient this is MY LIFE that your actions are affecting. I pay attention to my own care because I have to. I have learned the hard way that even those who should be paying attention often are not. They may also not have your best interest at heart.
At this point I am just about making my life a little easier and I think I deserve that.
And to say again... I really like my current doctor. He won me over the moment he said there is nothing I can do for you right now. He got all the information he needed first to make that call... and I respect that immensely. He's as close to perfect as you can get for a doctor but unfortunately he comes with a b*tch of a secretary.