Saturday, October 16, 2010

Relief

My handicap placard was issued.  Thank you thank you thank you thank you.  I have to admit, I just kind of sent it off and had no idea what if anything was going to happen.  I can be cowardly sometimes and asking for things... it's hard especially when I still feel like this is something that I have done to myself.  And i know, I KNOW, that this is NOT something that I did to myself.  

Looking forward to Wednesday's appointment.  Hopefully there will be time to chat.  I feel extremely well educated about what my options are way down the road, what kind of cartilage defects are good for what kind of surgeries and where the current state of cartilage and osteoarthritis research is.  I know ALL OF THIS STUFF about other knees and all that and yet I have no idea where my cartilage damage is.  How do I not know that?  Frustrates me to read about these procedures... and not know.  I assume there is some meniscal cartridge damage because I've read in past surgical reports that it had been trimmed.  But other defects?   I assume that the articular cartilage is messed up in places but where those places are...  I have no idea.  Well, I have a general idea, I know where I hurt.

Learned something interesting in Nutrition Education and Counseling this week.  It's okay to revise goals.  Shows you have been thinking about them.  When I said I want to go 5 years being surgery free.  I still hope for that... but seriously, I'm a little under a year in and I don't know if I can last.  I know I need to try, but I don't want things to get too roughed up in there, I already fear that I may be past the point of no return and that some of these neat biological procedures might not work on me.  Most assume that you have no other issues and only one or two defects.  We all know that's not me.  They also assume you have ligaments.  Also not me.

I'm feeling bit sorry for myself today obviously.  It's the result of not being able to stand for a show.  I can go and hang out at the bar before hand, but the actual show.  Yeah, no.  Standing and I.  We are just not cool.  Especially if I want to walk tomorrow.


4 comments:

Vickie said...

standing and I are not compatable either. Lower back seizes up something fierce. (tight hamstring related, also lower back discs 'out')

I wanted to thank you for mentioning foam rollers. Another blogger happened to mention them the same day. I googled them. And the link showed 'exercises'. We happened to have a short, fat pool noodle that was the right side.

It now lives in the trunk of my car. And I take it in to my classes with me. After class I am REALLY warmed up and the roller can do maximum benefit. It is making a big difference.

Vickie said...

that was supposed to be the 'RIGHT SIZE' not 'right side', but my problems ARE all on the right side of my body so perhaps it was subconscious and not a mistake after all . . .

Anonymous said...

Totes off topic:

Love your new Twitter pic with the floppy brim and hands like a valentine. Adorable. :)

--Robin

Sarah said...

Thanks Robin, that was taken back in August. I was standing on a porch balcony avoiding beads being tossed my way. what you can't see there is that I have a very bandaged thumb where I pinched the nail earlier that day. (Nail actually just started to fall off). Twin sis took that picture, it comes from a larger one. Totally organic how I was standing there, she was down on the curb. It's one of my favs. I love hats...