When I got to 345 pounds I was PROFOUNDLY uncomfortable in my own skin. I hurt, it was difficult to move and I was losing feeling in my fingertips. (my ah-ha moment) The thing is... I could do something about that discomfort. I was able, thru sheer will, to take it away.
I can't take away the pain of my OA. I can not will it away, work it off or change my life to rid myself of it. There are things I can do to help alleviate it, but at the end of the day, I am left with it. No matter how hard I wish and no matter what I do.
At least for now. But the future, almost 40! seems so far away. One step in front of another for how many more years?
The tears of frustration I have cried over this fact... I wish I could get people to understand what it is like living with this part, this part that constantly reminds you of who you are and how you got here. Unfortunately few will ever get this far in their own journey and even fewer will be scarred by the weight they once carried.
My "thinness" reminds me everyday of what I am capable of, the pictures I posted earlier, also reminders. I can do great things, but I can not take away my own pain. Until then I deal. The best ways I know how.
Two more weeks.