Five Years of Maintenance

This picture was taken in the last week of November 2004. M is being inducted into the Massachusetts Bar Association. I think of this picture as the day my weight maintenance started.

Blogging from 33K

I am on my way home from a week in Florida. What a week. People I haven't seen in forever... Some longer than others, but most haven't seen skinny Sarah.

My Gram had childhood friends in St. Petersburg. They are both 82 and have been married 60 years. Getting old is rough going, but they are both still with us. Bud more than Dot but it was so wonderful to see them both. The look of complete joy on Bud's face when I showed up. He told me he had looked out the window and could see that it was me, but not me all at the same time. He knew my Gram and how she struggled in the end with diabetes. I know i have done my part... I just hope my body cooperates when I get old.

I also saw a women who worked in the dinning hall of my dorm. She has known me since I was 13. She too has had her own weight issues and at 69 she looks amazing as a result of WLS. We talked a great deal about surgical weight loss as she was under the impression that was how I lost my weight. She proudly told our Thanksgiving dinner companions that I had done it all on my own. Dinner was amazing but I didn't expect anything less from our hosts. When my friend retired she moved to Florida just down the street from the guy who was director of Special Functions at my boarding school. Everything was ridiculously tasty. There was so much food. I took a 1/4 of each and enjoyed it thoroughly. I'll update with pictures when I get home.

Happy Thanksgiving and happy Black Friday!

I <3 you and miss you!

Better but still annoyed.

I get back from Organic Chemistry section open up my browser and Boston.com has changed the text in the box below. Warns was a very poor word choice. Shame on you Boston.com. I remain annoyed however that that tidbit is still in the actual slideshow. Out of all 13 suggestions ranging from hemlines to accessories it is the only one that deals with an ideal of beauty. Why even put it in there? Maybe because it's written by a guy and also the consultant they quote, Gregg Andrews of Nordstroms is a guy? Maybe it just didn't occur to them that they were making a statement about beauty norms? Yeah, I don't think so.

This kind of thing never used to bother me. I'd think so what? Some guy says he doesn't want to see your flabby arms. Move on. But so what? So what? The what is that NO ONE GETS TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN AND CAN NOT DO WITH YOUR OWN BODY IN REGARDS TO BEAUTY. Personally I think I bristled at this because I know that unless there is more surgery in my life, I will always jiggle. The idea that someone would suggest that I can't wear something sleeveless because of that is demeaning and dismissive. There will come a day when I will actually have my masters (Can this Orgo test and the next three years hurry up and be over already?/tangent) and I will be in a position where I can have a positive influence on people and their food and exercise choices. And you know what, if the dress code allows it, I'm sure there will be days where I wear something sleeveless.

Positive Body Image

I was annoyed by the story when I first clicked through the slideshow... but then when the screen shot you see below showed up on the front page of Boston.com. Argh! I emailed the author. Positive body image is so hard to attain. I've worked for years on my body image and it has been a long journey from hiding in shame to not caring what others think and loving my body just the way it is. To tell women that they shouldn't wear something based on an ideal of beauty is wrong. If your office requires proffessional attire that's one thing, but to tell women that they have to be Michelle Obama to rock the sleevless look is another. I am always going to jiggle and shame on you if you judge me for it!

I wear a lot of sleeveless dresses and shirts. I've owned this wool dress from Calvin Klein for quite some time and did in fact wear it to the office when I had a job. This is me in it just last week. Look, you can see my jiggle!

Part of the reason I like sleeveless things is because of the excess skin. Short sleeves on me are often not attractive... The cuff squeezing my arm is not a pretty look. I'm not one to hide my arms. I dress appropriately for my shape and size and I will not let my jiggle keep me from putting on something I know looks good. Not once has anyone ever stopped me to tell me that I don't have the arms for sleeveless dresses and shirts. I'm sad when women tell me that they hide their arms. So what, it's just skin. As long as the rest of you looks good, who cares? And quite frankly who the heck is even going to notice if you are rocking your outfit!

Updated my picture slide show

Some cute pictures and some not so cute pictures.

How is it possible I have another exam in less than a week?

Big week coming up. Twin sis is embarking on her own plastics journey... I'm so happy for her. I'm a little freaked out that she'll wander around with surgeons pen on her from tomorrow afternoon to Wednesday morning, but maybe it's a good thing. I think it would have helped me get a handle on where things were going and coming from. I still look at certain freckles and think geeze, where did that come from.

I'm the go with person Wednesday morning. Orgo exam the next day so I can get lots of focused (hopefully) studying done. She is having surgery at what used to be my hospital. But having always been the patient I'll have to scout out the best local from which to work. Those things never occur to you when you are the one with the pain pump.

Went to Target today and purchased granny panties for the recovery plus some cute clothes on sale. I bought a pencil skirt half off and in a size 8. I finally feel like the swelling of late is settling down. I was a mess this week after that fall on Tuesday. I can't wait for twin sis to have the flat clothing experience. We are so alike and this difference is so glaring, at least to us, I'll be glad when it's gone. I like being like her.

2 weeks From Yesterday

I'll meet yet another orthopedic surgeon. This one seems well qualified, comes with recommendations and his picture isn't too smarmy. Hard to tell how jock he is, his sport seems to be hockey, the last doc fancied tennis payers. I'll ping his office staff to see what the interaction is like. This journey is never going to end, I know that but I'm ready to turn down a new road.

My week resets on Thursdays

Only 4 more weeks like this one. I can do it I can do it I can do it.

I fell. Again. And other random...

Life is plugging along. School continues to work me hard. I'm growing weary of it and I know that by mid month I'll be able to see teh light at the end of the tunnel. I'll be happy when my life no longer involves copious amounts of chemistry. Biffing it in the middle of Harvard Yard this morning was not a great way to start my day.

I feel like I've been slacking but I know this shit is just hard. I just hope that when I get to the end of all this, people who were once like me will want to take good eating advice from someone like me now. Yeah, it's a concern. I still can't get past all the bobble heads dishing diet advice to those they can not relate to. Maybe I'm just cranky today b/c I hurt.

Oh, and I guess I did slack this past weekend. Finally celebrated the 33rd birthday in NYC with twin sis and a friend. Two item minimum at this show we went to... I ordered a bottle of water and some edamame.

Of course earlier in the day and been 6 mimosas and tapas tapas and more tapas.

Life she is about balance. Where the hell is mine? Oh right, incinerated.

Still waiting to hear back from my PCP about a new Orthopedic Surgeon. Somedays I fantasize about a 4th ACL and the stability that would come with it.