Tankini

I'm wearing one. I've had this suit for years. Back when I first lost the weight I ordered it from LL Bean for a winter vacation to Key West thinking it would be cute. I also liked that I could order a larger bottom than top to accommodate all my excess. The top is a 10 the bottom a 12. It was AWFUL. The skin that hung over my belly button was on full display and it was not pretty. I ended up purchasing another one the first day of vacation for 85$ somewhere on Duval. I still have that suit and am a big fan of it. Bright pretty floral colors and bonus, it came with a sarong. I've always loved swim ware. I had 5 different bathing suits at 240 pounds when I lived in Colorado. I spent summer by the pool and didn't give my body a second thought.

It's been on my mind that I am more than just my skin, but I have to say that this makes me pretty damn happy. I never ever thought that I could feel this normal. Sure there are lots of other parts of me that still droop and hang, but I did not know that this was going to be as life changing as it has been. I was focused on mobility and my knee. But now I know I wouldn't be totally honest if I said this has nothing to do with looks because it does. I know I'm never going to have a magazine body and I don't care. That doesn't motivate me, what does motivate me is being comfortable in my own skin and living life. Being an active participant in my life. The excess skin gets in the way of that.

I don't have to justify, I know that, it's just that this result, even with complications is so different than what I had imagined. It's pretty damn close to perfect. All those years of hard work brought me to a body that I could love and respect, but had a hard time living with. Now I can prance around on the deck and feel just as comfortable being in my own body as I did at 240. My skin is now me sized and I think that is what is making all the difference.