Sunday, January 18, 2009

Thinking about Success

I do not want to be that person who regains it all plus some. Many years later, I think I am okay, but you never know.

For me that would mean regaining another 175 pounds on top of the 10 or so I put on last year. So many people lose so much weight and then regain it all and more. I can see how that would happen... for a while this past fall I felt like it was happening to me, but now I feel more in control. Will I ever get to 150? Probably, with surgery of course. But right now I just need to focus on eating well with no bingeing and getting to the gym. The number on the scale will do what it'll do. The most I ever lost and then regained on top of my loss was 40 pounds after high school. Maintenance is hard, but being fat is harder. Taking off a whole me and then putting it back on. What a mental mind fuck that must be. I'm still spend time mulling over my ability to be successful in this battle of excess weight. A couple of factors were key I think.

1. Time

I was fat when Bush took office. I was just starting to take the weight off 8 years ago when he was sworn in. Still well over 300 pounds I was struggling with how long the process was going to take. But as I have learned, time is on your side and it is one of the best tools you have in losing weight. It took awhile for the pounds to come on, it can not come off instantly. The body can adjust and adapt to anything (All though I am sure it prefers being fat, to bad that doesn't make you happy.) but you must give it time. By the start of Bush's second term I was still fat. But now I was 240 pounds and surprisingly thought I was fat and happy. I didn't know any better (And I am in no way saying that losing weight will make all your problems go away, but not lugging around that extra body weight lifts a burden that I can not explain) but knew enough to know that if I wanted to live to see a ripe old age with the man I love my job was not done yet.

2. Knowing When to Quit

This must sound ridiculous, but sometimes the body will not cooperate. The plateau is one of the biggest weight loss struggles out there. You work so hard and then bam, nothing. And then more nothing and more nothing. This is not the time to throw in the towel, but time to quit doing what you are doing, and try something else. And for me, that something else, was to not try and lose more weight but to simply maintain. It was frustrating wanting to lose more weight but sometimes you just need to give. The scale not moving at all has been one of my biggest accomplishments. I have never really been stuck in that lose gain lose gain cycles. Maybe 10 pounds worth, but in my scale of experience, I'm okay with that. I think that when I got to 160ish I had more or less all ready equipped myself with the tools I needed for successful maintenance.

Where is this coming from? I have a chemistry exam I am procrastinating for.... I've spent the better part of my afternoon cleaning out my inbox of my Google Alerts, Nutrition, Obesity, Weight Loss and Weight Maintenance since late last year. Lots of talk about new years resolutions, gastric bypass, drugs etc but also about those who have regained. Oprah mostly, but that guy from the BIggest Loser who was on her show last week. I feel so awful for him, the pictures of him on her show, the sadness in his eyes. To lose 214 lbs that fast and then have a surgeon 4 months later remove all your excess skin. Ooof, the body probably had no idea what was going on. I know we only get a short time on this earth, but change, it takes time. There are no quick fixes.

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