I spend a lot of time worrying about healthcare in this country. I can't help it. Maybe I follow to many doctors on Twitter or have had too many conversation with my mother about the future of healthcare while she pursues her PhD in Healthcare Administration. It's scary. We have not yet seen the bottom, not even close. I will freely admit that my current weight loss, past the baby weight and hopefully through the gain from ACL fail #3 is motivated by fear. Fear that someday healthcare will be a moral judgement. Can I maintain motivated by fear? Unlikely, but hopefully I can get to a weight where I don't ache constantly. Being in less pain is always motivating.
Eating well has calmed my body down and the working out has vastly improved my strength and stability, but the ache persists. A friend told me yesterday I am too young to be in so much pain. I don't think that if you look at me you see it. Maybe if I were still heavy one would. But as is. Nope. I think that's why I am struggling to get some help from my PCP. I like this woman, but what am I paying for? I just want answers, I don't want to be fixed. I'm smart enough to know that I can't be "fixed." I hate being a heavy user of healthcare but I want to know how far along some of this OA is, how much worse can it get? I'd prefer to never see another doctor again (unless it's a plastic surgeon) but I can't get away with that. This body that I abused for so long needs maintenance to keep it running.
Pep talk over, time to make some calls.