My Knee

Is bumming me out. I couldn't even get through the brace fitting without tears. They aren't sobs. Just big hot crocodile tears that slide down my face and on to the floor. Or, if you happen to be the guy fitting my brace, on to your head. Sorry about that. I can't help it, they just well up...

I sent this to my PCP today.

Saw Dr. ______ again Monday. Told me to come back again in November and then he'll look at x-rays. Thinks pain is soft tissue related, recommended stretching and lidocaine patches and offered me a consult to a plastic surgeon for scar revision. :/
Pain is not like it was last yr but the bone still hurts. I don't understand his reluctance to take x-rays. Wouldn't one want to check and make sure something that you've surgically altered several times is healing properly given continued complaints of pain and a complicated past?
Been lots of tears since Monday and I keep reminding myself of something you once said. This is NOT my fault.
I don't know where to go from here.

I really don't know where to go from here. I think maybe I find a doc back at a teaching hospital? At least then I'm in the loop and they'll test some basic stuff every time. I can't tell you the last time my doc tested the laxity of my knee joint. You can feel it when they tug. Brace guy asked about that today.... couldn't give him an answer. I don't think my doc has ever done that. It's just understood that my knee has give I guess.

/sad vent