Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Doctors and such...

PCP is casting about for a new ortho doc. Someone who specializes in failed surgeries. No calcium deposits in the soft tissue, thankfully, but still, pain.

In other news I sent this to my Plastic Surgeon today.

Hi Dr. B!

I’ve been meaning to write you for some time now, but life, it’s been busy. Today is actually my birthday, it’s given me pause and a reason to reflect on what I’ve been through in the past year. The summer ended with lots of days at the beach and then vacation in late August. Now I’m back in school; Anatomy & Physiology, Organic Chemistry and Bio Chemistry are all on my plate. Time consuming, but worth it in the end if it gets me to the Dietetics degree. I am even more convinced now that you can change your life. Even if requires some surgical intervention at the end.

I cannot express to you how much this surgery has done for me. Physically and emotionally life is orders of magnitude better-- especially now that I am all healed. I am still experiencing occasional swelling or puffiness as I am fond of referring to it. Mostly on days with too much sodium or say standing several hours for a concert. I had a small pull next to my belly button for a while late summer. I knew the moment it happened (ouch!) and it lasted for the 6 weeks you said that those types of injuries would. The pull was the result of a fall due to my chronic instability in my knee. I have noticed however that the loss of that skin has made a huge difference in how I walk and carry myself. I do feel like this has helped my knee alignment, maybe that’s just wishful thinking, but it does seem better. I am excited to see what having my thighs reduced could do for that as well. My weight seems to have settled out at 157 pounds. This is smaller than I was pre surgery even with the skin removal. I feel fuller sooner which seems odd, but I suppose if you tuck the tummy in all tight it’s not going to be able to get as full before you feel it.

Emotionally sometimes I struggle with being so artificially flat, like I’ve cheated somehow. I know that is all in my head and this procedure was the best thing that I could have done for myself post massive weight loss. I always felt skinny, but never felt thin. It’s hard to explain the difference in these two words, but for me it’s huge. Clothing has once again become a vice-- I’ve been trying on pants, pants and more pants. Still a bit of a tough fit in the thighs, but I am happy to have the option for warmer clothes once winter arrives. I had thought that wearing a pair of pants would take away the femininity that I have so carefully cultivated through all those years of camouflaging skirts and dresses. Instead I have found the opposite; they have given me more confidence in my body and in being a woman than I could have anticipated. I thank you for that.

I also wanted to thank you for being so super. That word seems woefully inadequate for how positively I feel about this whole experience and you as a surgeon. When people ask me about my surgery I tell them that I had a doctor whom I felt was truly invested in making me well. Weight loss and plastics is just as much a mental journey as a physical one and despite my complications I always knew that I was being well taken care of, I was being listened to and supported.

Twin sis is going ahead with her procedure with Dr. D at N scheduled for 11/11. As you recall her weight loss is more in the 80lb. range, not the 180lb range. So while there is less to remove the surgery is no less necessary. She was also a heavy kid and this seems to contribute greatly to how much our skin has been stretched out over the years. I’m so thrilled that she is going to have this done as well but a bit sad that you won’t be the one performing the procedure. Currently it is a little awkward being twins and not having the same build. She constantly comments on how flat I am. I can't wait to repay the compliment. I also think seeing difference in her will help cement my own experience. I wake up everyday still amazed at the transformation. I often wonder when the novelty will wear off. It has not yet.

I hope you are enjoying your time abroad. Change of scenery is always good to help one reassess. Being totally selfish though, I do hope that you’ll be back and be setting up a practice. Given the wonderful experience and results that I had with my surgeries there is no way that I won’t do the rest of it.
I hope you and your family are well.


1 comment:

Lori said...

Sarah - what a beautiful post!

And you did not cheat in any way. All the work you did was done by you and you alone. Removing loose skin doesn't change any aspect of that.