If I didn't know the difference

I'm pretty sure the nurse would have used one of those heparin syringes on me today. It wouldn't have killed me or anything, but it certainly wouldn't have helped. PAY ATTENTION! These syringes come prepackaged, you hook them up to your IV after administering a med to prevent clotting. I know this because I've had a couple of PICC lines in my past. Heparin is blue, saline for the flush is white. She had already unwrapped one and put it on the coffee table and I was all, hey that's heparin! She looked confused and said, oh how did those get in there...

Umm... you put them in the bag because you weren't paying attention when you got supplies from the office. Mom and I noticed it last week, we should have taken them out then. They were at the very bottom of the bag, lesson learned. I would hate to think what would have happened if I hadn't said anything. That's not something most people know. Way to go crappy immune system.

So you might be able to tell I am over this nurse. She is a nice lady, but she is a lazy nurse. After the heparin incident, she had used 2 of the 3 saline syringes she had laid out. She went to reach for the third but grabbed the one that was already empty and screwed it back on to the catheter. This was for my last, tiniest hole and she had a hard time getting the catheter tip in, after about 20 secs. of fussing she got what she wanted only to depress the plunger and notice, oh, it's empty! Argh. PAY ATTENTION.

Really, is that to much to ask?

She goes on vacation at the end of the week for 10 days. I am going to do everything in my power to be all healed up and not need wound packing by time she gets back!

Easing back into life

The Tall Ships are in Boston right now and most of them are docked across the street from where M parks for work. When I am well I normally drop him off, it's a nice way to spend time together in the morning and then he doesn't have to pay for parking, which is 11$ at the cheapest. The MBTA doesn't seem to bother him and so instead of 15$ a day for commuting it's less than 5$ between the toll in on the Mass Pike, I take Storrow home, and his T fare.

So this morning I offered to drop him off. Well, he drove in, normally I drive, but one way was far enough for me. It was nice to get out and know that the city is still there. People are still running along the Charles, they are still working on that on ramp near Fenway and the Pike is still a shit show, but thankfully they hadn't closed down any lanes this morning.

At this point this is how I am going to get better, by easing back into my life. Things like dishes, ironing, errands. Well, no errands yet, but I will get to those. I super want to go to my local Target. It had been under renovation for the past 2 years and now it's finally done. I haven't been in yet, five weeks ago, they were still laying carpet in the woman's section and apparently they have some odd new all plastic carriages? I wanna see. It was a long process, they worked from the outside/periphery of the store to the inside. Last I time I was there only an island of the old Target remaining.

I've been cooking some too. Last night I only cut the meat for steak tips, but that was something. My protein intake is still close to or over 100 grams a day. My hair and nails have never looked better. I actually want to get a hair cut, but my stylist is on Newbury. Maybe next week I'll schedule an appointment and see just how good my parking karma is.

I need a better immune system

The germ that grew out last week was just plain old skin flora. I am a wee bit freaked out by that. The antibiotics keep getting bigger but the germs, from what I can read are supposedly less virulent? Serratia all those years was undeniably ugly, but the latest infections have just been small stuff. Why do we need to treat them with bombs? I understand that I did have a massive hole just cut in me but these bacteria don't cause problems for NORMAL people. I was healing up just fine from the fluid/pulling apart complication, but the infection. I feel like two steps forward one step back.

Warning possible gross TMI ahead!

Mom was here today and she said it looks much better. I agree, but the fact that two deepest tunnels are now "communicating" is also freaking me out. Basically what that means is that even though my largest hole has mostly healed, the spot where the infection was (that lump of ick I mentioned last week) has tunneled to the fascia. I could feel it yesterday when the plastic surgeon poked me. Actually the medical assistant found it. She impresses me. Nice girl, let's me ramble on because when I'm nervous I talk, pretty much non-stop. And there I go rambling. Anyways, it communicates with the other tunnel that was the deepest. When she flushed it with saline the fluid came out both holes. I will eventually heal, I assume the tissue is done breaking down and now will begin to build itself back up.

In other gross icky news. I have never ever had to deal with a feminine problem like I have right now. We are combatting on both fronts, the yeast and the lack of healthy helpful bacteria. Hopefully tomorrow I'll start feeling some relief from all this effort. I can't wipe, only blot if that tells you how bad this is.

So when all this is wrapped up maybe I'll see about talking to an immunologist. I'd like to know why I get the odd germs and the infections from things that aren't supposed to infect you. Literally the plastic surgeon said that yesterday, "You grew out nothing that should have done this."

I am going to heal.

I helped!

I need to start doing more for myself. Not too much-- but more. Tonight I chopped vegetables and helped with dinner. Ooooh, exciting right? We had stuffed peppers, mine was all hamburger and veggies, no brown rice and no cheese-- stupid Zyvox! We ate these as kids all the time, but I am willing to bet my version has more vegetables and less fat. Thinking back on it I assume they were made with 80/20 hamburger, white rice, tomato sauce chock full of sugar (check it out, most are!), smothered with full fat cheddar cheese and no extra vegetables to be seen. I can vividly remember the oil pooling on the surface of the stuffed peppers and in the bottom of the baking dish. Tonight's version was 93/7 hamburger with onions, garlic, mushrooms and spinach, brown rice and lorraine swiss. It was just as yummy as when I was a kid. It's all about changing your normal.

I also cut up a head of cauliflower, a couple of carrots and a sweet potato for a braised veggie recipe I'll make tomorrow. The sweet potato and carrots are veggies that need to be used and are an addition and substitution to the origional recipe but I'm sure will still be delicious. The spices lend the dish an Indian flavor so I can use up leftovers by wrapping them up in phylo dough, brush them with olive oil and bake turning them into a good for you version of the vegetable samosa.

It's so nice to have fruit & veggies back in the house and to have the energy to do things with them. Mom took me to the grocery store yesterday, I walked the produce isles and the frozen isle. I'm noticing the mini dessert trend has hit the ice cream case. Besides the Ben & Jerry's tiny cups you can also get the Edy's Slow Churned, chocolate, vanilla and chocolate mint. I know it's more packaging and I know they aren't great for you, but it makes me happier than having to buy a pint of something that will only taunt me later until I pitch the rest of it. I have no problems paying for exactly what I want. I had a tiny cup of the chocolate with fresh cherries, strawberries and blueberries. Tonight I just had the fruit and that's okay too, but sometimes a girl needs something chocolately to help her cope.

An After Picture

I took this with my iPhone last night. You can clearly see the ABD pads that are covering the 4x4s that are covering the packing strips of gauze that are stuffed inside of me. Love my belly button though. Never ever thought it could be that cute. PS did a very nice job, silly to think that I was considering going without, it's really been the least of my healing worries!


Edited to add...
Here's the link back to the before picture. I spent some time this weekend pulling pics off my old mac. I'm working on more of before gallery. I just need to crop out my head. I don't mind the pics being out there, but god forbid should anyone disperse them, yeah... They are all iPhone pics. Not the greatest, but you'll get the idea.

It's been a month now.

June 4th seems like yesterday and a million years ago all at the same time. Today is the first day we've have had really nice weather. I opened up all the windows and still sat on the sofa under the blanket.

I really liked the weekend nurse who came this morning. My normal nurse, while a wound specialist is 1. A slob, 2. A slob and 3. Apparently can't spell. The nurse today was telling me that while reviewing my chart today she kept seeing the word puss. Thankfully she also had a sharps container. My regular nurse has been cutting the ends off of a butterfly needle in order to use the catheter tip to irriagte my holes. It's not unusual for her to just leave the needle ends sitting on my coffee table. I was also noting today going through the bag of supplies she pilfered from the office, because my insurance company is a bit slow about these things, that she dumped the syringe with the used catheter back in the bag! Ick. I know there is no such thing as sterile at home, but let's at least pretend like we care about germs okay? Sheesh. Oh also, in the bottom of that goody bag, heparin syringes. I need heparin like I need a hole in the head.

I am healing. I know that, seems slow, especially after a month, but again, the nurse today was super positive. Reminded me to consider the source of the tissue they had to use. My insicion line is stitched together layers of skin that were folded over, had a restricted blood flow, no air and were very stretched out. She also said to not let this deter me from my thighs as that's a different scenario in terms of tissue.

I think this week I'll see some good progress. I'm still eating well and have fined tuned the protein need to be met with less calories, ~2,200 a day was a bit excessive and my tummy was hurting. Good practice for my future career. Also this anti biotic I'm on tells you to stay away from foods with tyramine, so this has also changed the way I am approaching my nutritional needs. Less bars and shakes and more cooking. My muscle repair is mostly healed so cooking for myself is easier as I can stand pretty straight now. I still get tired quick but I am certainly able to do much more for myself than unwrap a Power Bar or gulp down an Odwalla protein shake.

Puff Puff Pass

I have done more in the last two days than I have in a month. I have driven myself twice now to the doctors and today I went from the hospital in West Roxbury to downtown where I immediately relinquished the wheel of my bouncy bucket of noise to twin sis. Driving is surprisingly hard on me-- I own a Chevy Colorado and there is nothing fancy about it. My air often doesn't work and so I have to roll down the windows, normally I'd just vent the back one in the rain, but I can't twist around so I was left wrestling with the window crank. I thought maybe I was weak, but twin sis also said it was hard to roll, especially up. Makes little things like getting in and out of the parking lot just a smidge more difficult. I was grateful when she drove from her work to her place in the South End and then after a quick stop at her house to see Cat, she drove me home.

I blogress.

I think I was the first person the plastic surgeon saw today after his day in the OR. I can't tell you how much I like this guy and his staff. They are all super kind, they pay attention, they are helpful, knowledgeable and they listen, even when short on time. Anyone who has read my blog for a while will know that I don't heal like everyone else, and that's causing me some stress right now. I was hoping this would be flawless, but it's not. Results not typical I guess, but apparently this happens to about 30% of massive weight loss peeps.

Warning! Gross, possible TMI ahead!

I currently have three open holes. One is on my left side and was the one that burst with fluid almost two weeks ago. We have been packing it all along, at it's largest it was two inches long and I'm not sure how deep, it was hard to see, like a little cave. All the protein I have been eating is really helping, it has filled in almost to the surface (except for the infected part) and I suspect soon it will start healing from the sides. The infection started last Friday I think and was very ew, during Monday night's dressing change I noticed that there was this bit of solid ick that I couldn't dislodge with the wound cleansing spray. Tuesday morning before my shower I noticed that there was more of it! I grabbed it with a piece of gauze and a lump of congealed pus and drainage slid out about an inch and a quarter long. I was speechless but this was an excellent development, as it had been blocking the rest of the pus. Now that that spot has been able to drain it has closed up very quick, PS said it was pretty superficial at this point.

My second hole is the deepest and is basically at the bottom of my suture line. My incision runs from the back of my hips and dips into a deep crescent that's stitched just above my pubic area. The PS poked his tweezers in there and they disappeared! Yikes! He said to make sure that I point that out to the RN so she is packing it, on Tuesday that was still blocked by pus and starting to tunnel to the right. The top has open up a bit allowing for more drainage and now that the antibiotic has kicked in he could see just how deep the hole is.

The final hole is to the right and the one that PS opened himself on Tuesday. It's leaking some fat cells, umm, can we say necrosis. Apparently those are the small square chunks I am seeing on my dressing when I change it out. The PA told me not to worry on Tuesday, this is normal sometimes the fat cells get strangled by the stitches and die. Seeing them on the dressing is much better than having them sit inside of me. This hole is also pretty superficial but still packable.

So that's the wound round up. I'm looking forward to several days on the sofa. I'm puffy right now and the swelling I'm sure is a combination of being poked and also the driving. Potholes carved by weeks of rain plus stop and go city driving equals lots of tense tummy muscles.

I was telling twin sis on the way home that I would still do this again despite my hurdles. I'm used to things being a haul and had hoped that this would go smoothly, but it didn't and that's okay. One of things I say a lot about life's situations, problems, triumphs, etc. is that they are not better or worse from one another, they are just different. However this, this is better. It's hard explain it exactly, but wow, this body I have now, I am amazingly pleased with the improvement.