More Health Care Worries

I am trying to define all of my OA.  I'd like a baseline of where I am now so that in 10, 20 years I can note the progression.  I have no idea what all my healthcare $$$ pay for, but I feel like getting good appropriate care is freaking hard to do.  My PCP referred me back to my old Ortho, Dr. B. for my back.  Umm, no.  I wrote her back a terse email, saying basically I'd rather continue to hurt. She then placed referral for another Ortho and when I called to make appointment the woman on phone was all, "He doesn't do backs." Ugh, yes, I know.  But he is apparently an expert in arthritis. Hoping he'll listen to what I have to say and if he can't help, maybe knows someone who can.  Really I don't want to be "treated" I just want to define this.  How much, where, how far along?  Having answers to these questions will help me process the pain.

I think I'm grumpy because I fell last Saturday.  Jarring as always. Thank goodness I wasn't carrying my baby. And thank goodness for her.  Some how I was blessed with one of the happiest smiliest babies ever.

Healthcare

I spend a lot of time worrying about healthcare in this country.  I can't help it.  Maybe I follow to many doctors on Twitter or have had too many conversation with my mother about the future of healthcare while she pursues her PhD in Healthcare Administration.  It's scary.  We have not yet seen the bottom, not even close. I will freely admit that my current weight loss, past the baby weight and hopefully through the gain from ACL fail #3 is motivated by fear.  Fear that someday healthcare will be a moral judgement. Can I maintain motivated by fear?  Unlikely, but hopefully I can get to a weight where I don't ache constantly. Being in less pain is always motivating.

Eating well has calmed my body down and the working out has vastly improved my strength and stability, but the ache persists.  A friend told me yesterday I am too young to be in so much pain.  I don't think that if you look at me you see it.  Maybe if I were still heavy one would.  But as is.  Nope.  I think that's why I am struggling to get some help from my PCP.  I like this woman, but what am I paying for?  I just want answers, I don't want to be fixed.  I'm smart enough to know that I can't be "fixed." I hate being a heavy user of healthcare but I want to know how far along some of this OA is, how much worse can it get?  I'd prefer to never see another doctor again (unless it's a plastic surgeon) but I can't get away with that.  This body that I abused for so long needs maintenance to keep it running.

Pep talk over, time to make some calls.