Twinier

Things I didn't expect to happen today:
There is now just ten pounds between twin sis and I at 5pm.
She left my house wearing my old jeans.
Mom had Oreos in her freezer. And I only had 1.

Are all knee implants the same? - The Boston Globe

Are all knee implants the same? - The Boston Globe

Promising. A guy in Bio class last semester was a sales rep for Zimmer. Neat neat stuff.

WALL-E's 'fattist' satire angers fat pride groups - Telegraph

From my Google Alerts.... I try to stay away from the politics of fat. The view is different from where I stand than most. But this... I haven't seen the movie yet but that is irrelevant to what bothered me most in this article. They interviewed several people including Fatima Parker the UK Spokesperson for the International Size Acceptance Association. I added the emphasis on the last line.

WALL-E's 'fattist' satire angers fat pride groups - Telegraph

"Fat people here are constantly told that we are failures: as people, as parents, as role models."

Ms Parker's argument is that overweight people are less likely to become morbidly obese, if they are allowed to feel comfortable about their bodies. She believes derogatory language and stereotypes about fat people as greedy will only make them eat more.

"On TV shows such as You Are What You Eat and The Biggest Loser, we are made out to be disgusting and less than human - called cows and whales.

It's hardly going to make me go and eat carrots and run around the garden.

"I would rather have cancer or diabetes than serious depression about how I look."

So full disclosure here... I still am not a huge fan of the way I look. I have more or less come to peace with it, but occasionally it still depresses me that I am carrying around all this extra skin. Does it make me want to eat more? Hell no. I would rather be saggy and squishy than all stretched out, full up of fat that makes life hard to live. Also, this really only applies when my clothes are off-- I can easily cover up my flaws and so I get dressed up everyday for a reason-- it makes me feel good about myself. Being healthy makes me feel good about myself. No one can tell me how to feel. Only I am in control of my emotions and my responses to the world around me.

So here's my issue with Ms. Parker. Comparing depression over ones appearance to cancer/diabetes is like comparing apples and cupcakes. Depression (in most cases) is NOT going to kill you. It's mental/chemical. Type II Diabetes and cancer can and probably will kill you. These are physical aliments brought on by an unhealthy lifestyle. One of my biggest motivating factors in wanting to lose weight was watching my Gram suffer through the last years of her life. Diabetes is an ugly ugly disease and a horrible way to die. It robbed her of her sight, her mobility and eventually her life. A week later my uncle died of Pancreatic cancer. Again a horrible way to go. Having those diseases would depress the f*ck out of me. Cancer is a hard one because lately it seems so indiscriminate in who and when it attacks, but living a healthier lifestyle will decrease your chances and taking weight off will certainly lower your risk for diabetes.

Maybe Ms. Parker has never known anyone who has suffered from diabetes or cancer? Such a flippent comment... Ugh. I don't think she understands what she is saying.

The Meatball Sub

Back in the day, I could eat a large meatball sub, a bag of Doritoes (not the 99 cent version either) and a package of 6 cupcakes all in one evening. Ooof. Way too much food.

It had been years since I have indulged in meal like that. I never eat Doritoes anymore and if a cupcake is in sight I am more likely to lick off the frosting and leave the rest. I have steered clear of meatball subs all together.

But for lunch today we had homemade ones! And they were so tasty. Everything we made ourselves except the fresh mozzarella. I added some roasted garlic and fresh basil to M's sauce from last week, fried up the leftover meatballs in a little olive oil added those with the cheese to the sauce and then let simmer while the onion rolls toasted. Seriously, the best meatball sub I have ever had.

I feel better already

9:50 am and I have already gotten in my daily ride. I average about 10 miles an hour I think. Just enough to keep me sweating but not panting. My legs feel so much better, no more twitching at night and the night sweats have eased off this week. I am concerned that something (stitch maybe?) is about to pop out of my knee. It has been sore and tender in that one spot for days. Something is under there working it's way to the surface. Ew. The hole also seems to be collapsing again. Just after surgery there was a small mound where he had filled it, but that's gone now and the hole is palpable under the skin. Where did all those little bone granules go I wonder? These are the things I think about on my ride.

The coolest new toy ever.

I am addicted to my iphone. Everything all in one.

So awesome.

No blogging when drunk

Beer and wine a winning combination. Okay, maybe not really, but I had fun. I have always viewed alcohol as empty calories and at this lesser weight can't toss them back like I used too.

That's a good thing, but learning moderation was hard. Well, at least when it comes to the drinks. It's not like one cookie makes it easier to have 5 more. (That's a diet mentality I've worked very hard to over come.) But once you start drinking it's all, sure, I'll have another. And another.

I had a lovely time last night with the friends I made in the Chem class. However it reinforced for me that dropping it was the right choice-- they even brought me my test from monday. A 76. Way better than I had anticipated, it was nice to see that I did understand the material-- if only the rest of my life had been behaving. But no regrets.